she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My dick has a subreddit
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
