hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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