I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There r osticjed everywhere
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
