at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
