does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
