thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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