Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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