remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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