Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
