Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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