i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
