Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
