Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just found puke in my bra..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
