His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize