i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
