I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
is it fun? or sober?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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