I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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