i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
My penis needs a shock collar
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My ass is underappreciated
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
