she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
