I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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