i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
