she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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