um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
