that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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