I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
