hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
she looked like the before picture.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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