Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
