I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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