Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My vagina just recognized that song.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
