he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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