Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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