i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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