just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
