This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
