You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
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