Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
