I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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