I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
