I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Naked. naked and bneed help.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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