Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
