I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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