shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He has the fingertips of a God
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
