I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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