great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
