Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
