my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize