I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
