I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
