I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
