i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
