I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
