I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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