I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
