Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
