I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
