"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You need Xanax blowdarts
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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