so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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