I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
