Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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