Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
